I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
