She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
