I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
