fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
now i know why i became what i already was.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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