I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
