i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
