so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We have started to decorate penises.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
