sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pants are for mortals
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize