No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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