but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
