"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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