ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
