my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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