You can't motorboat a personality
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
