yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
