I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sobbing to NWA
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
