I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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