but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
