That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
