So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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