porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
