I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
