yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
