yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
