I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
