wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
