He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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