Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
