White coat. Heels.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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