wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
