You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
