she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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