you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My vagina just recognized that song.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
