I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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