dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
