i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
