bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
