I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Randomize
