That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
