I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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