i think my tv is drunk
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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