I'm eating all of the evidence.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
