so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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