wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
