You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
