I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
