"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
