I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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