Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
