I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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