its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize