the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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