Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
