I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
