I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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