did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
