I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
