Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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