you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
