Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
