..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
