Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
