Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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