i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
