Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
